Love yourself!

BearYou are kind,

full of respect

and compassion

for mankind.

Against aggression, you take action!

You won’t let your friends be treated unfairly!

So why do you bully


I am intimately acquainted with self-hatred. When I was at my very worst,  I believed myself even too incompetent to live. One shrink got mildly angry at me and said I wasn’t even trying to help myself. I told her that I was beyond hope and that I was sorry I was wasting her time.

Of course, that was the depression talking.

Eventually, I got better and regained some self-love. I created that persona of mine, bought pretty clothes, took care of myself. I started doing more of what I loved the most. I tried hard to love myself despite my faults, but I would still have episodes of acute self-hatred.

Last week, this interview made me realize I was still doing something wrong: the thing is not to love myself despite my faults. It’s to love myself with them.

If a person was a painting, then their personality traits would be the different colours.  When looking at the picture, you don’t think “this colour is good, this one is bad”. You look at how the colours interact and see what they portray.

You’ve got only one picture. It’s not finished; it’s a neverending work-in-progress. You can keep adding to it. But it is much easier to do if you don’t try to change it completely and then beat yourself up when you don’t succeed.

Learn to love and respect your picture the way it is. Identify what still needs works, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself. These things take time, so be patient. Take breaks. When you screw up, wipe and start again.

I find that the more I love myself, the more confidence I have, the more I feel in control of my life and the happier I feel. These are all interconnected.

Do something you love today. Take care of yourself. Don’t beat yourself up: that never helped anyone. Here’s a nice post by Jason Connell on how to love yourself.

Happy Valentine’s Day! Enjoy the chocolates.


*By the way, I’m aware that my poem is amateur-ish, but I love it anyway.


27 thoughts on “Love yourself!

  1. I needed to read this post. It was uplifting and real at the same time. I am my own harshest critic. But that saying is completely right: we must love ourselves not despite our faults but with them. Oh! Thank you for sharing! 💕

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I absolutely love this post. It’s usually around this time that the anhedonia starts to hit me but I always try my hardest to never let it win. Getting back into the routine of self-healing can be hard but super worth it.
    Absolutely love this!

    Liked by 5 people

  3. It’s so easy to blame and hate yourself. It takes real courage to accept our flaws and fall in love with ourselves, and that is exactly what we should aim to do! Glad to see you’re making progress with that!
    Thanks for writing this! 🙂

    Liked by 5 people

  4. Hope you are well Ida. It’s a very powerful message. Why is it so effortless to be someone else’s fiercest advocate, whilst failing to look out for ourselves. Have a great week! 😊

    Liked by 5 people

    • It’s a mystery! I tried to find out what the Dalai Lama thought on the matter, but didn’t find anything relevant. I should try writing a book about it, then maybe I’d understand it a little better!

      Thank you. Have an excellent week yourself!

      Liked by 2 people

  5. “So why do you bully yourself?” Such a great question.
    I see a lot of people that are not willing to help themselves. It saddens me.
    Your comparison to a painting (a mixture of colors) was just ingenious.

    Liked by 3 people

    • It is tragic. I wish I could do something about it, but all I can do is write. And depressed people tend not to read much… they don’t have enough concentration. Someday I’m going to write a book about depression.

      I’m glad you liked my analogy. ^_^

      Liked by 2 people

  6. I’m so sorry that you’ve experienced difficulties like this. Mental health is such a conundrum, that sometimes none of us can explain. So glad you are making steps towards happiness… regardless of whether they are baby steps or not… As long as they are in the right direction. x

    Liked by 5 people

  7. What a great blog post! I totally agree with the sentiment of being a painting. We’re not perfect, but we can still be beautiful. Flaws can be beautiful. Yet I’d also like to think that we are never done. We can be a masterpiece and a work-in-progress at the same time.

    Liked by 4 people

  8. Thank you for sharing! I agree we are our own worst enemies at times and out minds are fragile. We should love ourselves regardless. Live to love our lives. I wish you every success in your life. In love, peace and happiness. 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

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